When a man talks dirty 2 a women funny facebook status messages

....... is We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse..


....... says When a man talks dirty 2 a women, its sexual harassment when a women talks dirty 2 a man, its $3.95 a minute!


....... is it possible to be in two places at twice?


....... feels sorry for guys who's girlfriends call them The Boy. Hanging out with The Boy Tonight. Obviously he's not the man.


....... says I am getting more sensitive the older I get. I realized this today as I sat on a park bench throwing bread crumbs to the old people.


....... says If I need directions, I’m not asking a man with one tooth. I’m asking a man with one leg. Because he definitely knows the easiest way to get there..


....... says Most dentist's chairs go up and down. The one I was in went back and forwards. I thought 'This is unusual' . And the dentist said to me, Sir, please get out of the filing cabinet.


....... says I read somewhere that when you get married, you should marry your best friend. Talk about awkward, he was already married.


....... wants to know that if God didn't want us to eat meat, why did he make Cows so slow? Have you ever eaten a Cheetah burger? Nope, and you never will.... !!!!


....... says What's the two things they tell you are healthiest to eat? Chicken and fish. You know what you should do? Combine them, eat a penguin...


....... says Bin Laden is probably blending in, the best way he can, driving a taxicab.


....... is Awaiting anxiously for Obamas "loss off the union" speech wednesday


....... is I got new deodorant yesterday... The instructions said remove top and push up bottom... My bum really hurts but everytime I fart the room smells awesome


....... I'm pretty sure I had a good time last night. Let me finish reading the police report and i'll let you know.


....... I wouldn't mind public transportation if it wasn't for the public.


....... is wondering, if chickens don't have fingers, how come they sell them in resturants??


....... wants to know how we manage to raise millions to help people in a country none of us have ever been to, but can't help our own poor and homeless.


....... i wasnt born with enough middle fingers to show you how I feel


....... is To all of you who keep calling me Fat, Just Piss off, Iv got Enough on my Plate..

clever and funny facebook status